Sunday, January 23, 2011

back again (again)

It's a little late for a New Year's Resolution, but here I am again.  I've been thinking a lot about this blog and what to do with it. If you've been following me here for a while, you know that I used to write a lot about my internal (spiritual, emotional, intellectual...) life as well as about what was going on in my every day (external) life. It was very therapeutic for me. Then I went to graduate school and began struggling to express myself freely through writing (due to doing lots of school writing that felt very constrained and sometimes dishonest.) I felt really bad about that and tried to get back in the habit of writing about my real self well. I still wasn't good at it (anymore) though, so this blog started to be mostly about my photography and my etsy shop. But for some reason I felt guilty about that and didn't want it to be that way. So I didn't blog at all. Some super important external life events have happened (marriage! finishing my Master's degree! getting my first "real" therapist job!), and I still didn't write.

Well, here's what I've decided. If words aren't naturally flowing out of my soul anymore, SO BE IT.  I forgive myself for that. It just is what it is.  The other day I was watching Julie Andrews on Oprah, and in talking about losing her amazing voice due to illness and beginning writing children's books, she said that her daughter comforted her by telling her she didn't lose her voice, she just found a new way to use it. Well, I think that happened to me too. Writing wasn't a joyful thing for me anymore because of graduate school (or whatever), and photography became my new voice. Of course I can still write (like I am right now), but the way I feel connected to God and the world, the way I transcend the humdrum of everyday, the way I feel creative and free and alive, is through images. That may change, but for now, I'm going to accept it, appreciate it, nurture it, and yes, blog it. :)

1 comment:

Katie King said...

cool! can't wait to see what images you post here ;) I know its hard when our creativity changes directions. I think that can be very hard on a person. Photography wasn't even a talent I expected to have but an adjustment of course. Welcome back!